


One Moment More

by wolfie_winchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel-centric, Coda, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hugs, M/M, Post-Episode: s12e01 Keep Calm and Carry On
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-08-23 08:33:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8321056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfie_winchester/pseuds/wolfie_winchester
Summary: After almost losing Dean, Castiel realizes how important it is to cherish every moment he has with him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Okay but the way Cas hugged Dean in that episode slayed me. I am writing this fic from the grave.

After they return home and Mary finally falls into a fitful sleep in the room next to Dean’s, Castiel takes the time to breathe easy. Sam is still missing and he’s nothing but determined to find him, but it’s late and they’re all exhausted. Dean is nearly asleep on his feet, but refuses to lie down in case Mary wakes up and needs something. Even when he has his mother back, Dean is the one taking care of everybody. 

 

Castiel watches him in silence - watches as Dean makes phone calls and threats and tries his damndest to find his brother.  _ Tomorrow _ , Castiel thinks. Tomorrow he will go out on his own and find Sam. He’ll bring him home and the three Winchesters will be a family again. Castiel knows that despite Dean’s words to him before walking to what they all believed would be his death, he doesn’t belong with them. He’s caused too much trouble and because of him, Lucifer walks the Earth. But this is a problem that he’ll soon correct. 

 

No matter what, he’s going to make things right. Even if it kills him, he’s going to find Lucifer and personally lock him in the cage again. 

 

But tomorrow is still a few hours away and Castiel has learned the value of living in the moment - of not letting a single second with Dean Winchester pass him by. Too many times Dean has died or come close to dying without Castiel being by his side to save him. This last time had felt final, like maybe this time Dean really wouldn’t come back. Castiel hadn’t known what to do with himself after they’d said their farewells in the graveyard. He’d felt hollow inside, like a gaping hole had opened up and swallowed everything but his physical form. 

 

Now that Dean is here - alive and well - Castiel isn’t going to waste a moment. 

 

“Just let me know if you hear anything, alright?” Dean’s voice is rough with anger and lack of sleep, and he hangs up without saying goodbye to whoever he’s speaking with. Castiel comes to stand beside him and rests a hand on his shoulder. Dean starts, head whipping around to face him, and the tension goes out of him once he recognizes Castiel. “Hey, Cas,” he says tiredly, rubbing at his eyes with a hand. 

 

“You should rest,” he advises gently. “You cannot find Sam if you are exhausted to the point of collapsing.” 

 

“I’m fine,” Dean insists. But when he takes a step out of Castiel’s reach, he sways on his feet, eyes fluttering for a second before regaining his bearings. Castiel gives him a pointed look and the hunter rolls his eyes. “Alright, maybe you’re right. But only a few hours, okay?” 

 

“Of course.”

 

Dean heads to his room, Castiel close on his heels, and the hunter stops when they reach his door. 

 

“Uh, Cas, you uh - you don’t have to watch over me, you know?” he says, chuckling lightly. “I’ll be fine.” 

 

“I know,” Castiel says, and suddenly, he feels nervous. He lowers his head and fiddles with the edges of his sleeves - something he’d picked up a while ago when he’d taken on Sam’s hallucinations. “I apologize. I... I will wait in the library.” 

 

“You’re not going to sleep?” 

 

“I don’t sleep, Dean,” Castiel reminds him. He starts to turn away, trying to ignore the feeling of being rejected. It’s not as though he’d expected Dean to lie with him. He hadn’t even asked and he doesn’t understand why he even feels this way. 

 

He makes it halfway down the hall before a hand grasps his arm, the touch so soft Castiel barely feels it. He turns and sees Dean, cheeks tinted pink and eyes downcast. 

 

“If you really wanna stay, then uh, I guess... I guess that’s okay. Just don’t make it weird, alright?” 

 

Castiel nods and hides his smile by ducking his head. He follows Dean into his room, watching the hunter go through his nighttime ritual. Dean brushes his teeth in the sink on the wall near the door and then pulls off his flannel shirt and the shirt underneath that. His hands automatically go to the button of his jeans, but he pauses, glancing at Castiel. 

 

“You uh... you mind?” he asks. 

 

“No,” Castiel replies, watching Dean watch him until the hunter just rolls his eyes and mumbles, “Whatever,” before unbuttoning his jeans and pushing them down his legs. 

 

He kicks his shoes and socks off with his jeans and then, finally comfortable, climbs onto his bed and slips under the blankets. He motions towards the light switch on the wall and Castiel reaches out to flick it off. The room is plunged into darkness immediately and Castiel’s eyes adjust after a few seconds, his enhanced vision easily able to make out Dean’s form lying in bed. The hunter’s eyes are still open and he’s staring right at Castiel. 

 

“Are you really gonna stand there and watch me the whole night?” he asks, a hint of amusement in his voice. 

 

“If that’s alright with you,” Castiel replies. Truthfully, he could watch Dean for eternity and never tire of it, but he doesn’t tell the hunter this. He knows Dean would only find it ‘creepy.’ 

 

“Suit yourself,” Dean mumbles, shrugging before he turns onto his side and closes his eyes. 

 

It’s silent for all of about ten seconds before Dean opens his eyes again and sighs. He shoves the covers back and gets up, crossing the room in the dark. He bumps his toe against the foot of his bed and lets out a curse before managing to stumble his way over to Castiel. 

 

“Alright, what’s up with you?” he asks. 

 

Castiel blinks and tilts his head, confused. 

 

“What do you mean?” 

 

“When you first saw me earlier today you were all excited and happy. And now it’s like you’re... not,” he finishes, at a loss. “What gives?” 

 

His fingers twitch with the urge to touch Dean, to pull him close and never let go, but he squashes down that urge because there are more important things than his feelings. He shrugs, the gesture smoother and easier than it had been before. 

 

“I’m just... trying to stay focused on finding Sam. I can’t let my emotions distract me,” he says. He lowers his eyes, avoiding Dean’s gaze. “I can’t afford to make another mistake. Lucifer is already free because of me.” 

 

“Cas,” Dean says, soft and sad. “That’s not...” 

 

He was going to say that it wasn’t his fault, but they both know that’s a lie. Instead, Dean clears his throat and tries again. “We talked about this, man. You did what you thought was right.” 

 

“It doesn’t matter.” There’s anger seeping into his voice now - but not anger at Dean - anger at himself. “How could I be so foolish, Dean? He said he could help and I believed him, like an imbecile!” 

 

He huffs angrily and glares at the floor, trying to reign in his emotions. Dean stands there silently, watching him for a moment until he reaches out, placing a calming hand on Castiel’s shoulder. 

 

“Why don’t you get some sleep? You can... you can stay with me, if you want. Just uh... don’t tell anyone, alright?” he says. When Castiel doesn’t respond, Dean sighs. “Look, Cas. Just. Come to bed? Please? I’m tired and I wanna at least get four hours.” 

 

Sam might have perfected the puppy dog eyes, but Castiel has a suspicion that he learned it from Dean. He nods, allowing Dean to drag him to the bed. He’s been human long enough before getting his grace back that he automatically removes his coat and shoes. He undoes his tie, setting it on the table by the bed. He unbuttons his shirt, sliding it off his shoulders and letting it fall to the floor. For a moment, he’s expecting Dean to tell him not to make a mess of his room, but the hunter is simply staring at him as he finishes undressing. He realizes then that Dean must be uncomfortable and Castiel wonders if he should redress. 

 

“Do you... is this... okay?” he asks, nervous again, only this time he doesn’t have anything to fiddle with to distract him. He glances at Dean, his skin suddenly feeling hot. He’s never felt this exposed to anyone before and it’s both thrilling and frightening. 

 

“Yeah,” Dean says, almost a whisper. “Yeah, it’s okay.” 

 

Castiel nods and then swings his legs up onto the bed, turning onto his side so he’s facing Dean. The hunter is staring at him unabashedly, until he realizes what he’s doing and quickly averts his eyes, muttering a quiet, “Night, Cas,” and turning onto his back. 

 

Unable to help himself, Castiel smiles and closes his eyes. 

 

“Good night, Dean.” 

* * *

As a human, Castiel could never control the direction his dreams went. And it seems that, even as an angel, he still can’t. Sleeping might have seemed like a good idea when Dean suggested it, but now? Not so much. Castiel can’t stop seeing Dean march off to his death, resigned to it like he always is - like his life doesn’t matter. He watches Amara pull him in, watches her touch him and place her lips on Dean’s. He wants to run over and wrench her away, smite her for even daring to touch Dean. But Castiel is helpless, only able to watch as Dean comes to his senses and pushes her away. His fingers close and Castiel sees only white, hears only the sound of Amara screaming as she is obliterated from existence. And when the light fades, neither of them are standing there anymore. The only remains are piles of ash on the ground and Castiel feels his heart shattering in his chest. 

 

And then, he wakes up. Dean is practically on top of him, calling his name and Castiel realizes then that he must have been talking in his sleep. His cheeks are wet and he feels short of breath, even if he doesn’t really need the oxygen. 

 

“Dean,” he breathes. And like before when he first arrived at the bunker to discover Dean alive, Castiel launches himself into Dean’s arms. The hunter lets out a soft ‘oof’ as Castiel knocks the wind out of him and he falls to the side, Castiel following until the two are lying side by side, the hunter caught in his embrace. 

 

“Don’t leave me,” Castiel says, trembling. He knows he sounds weak. He knows Dean must think him pathetic and clingy and needy, but he doesn’t care at the moment. “Don’t ever leave me. Please. I can’t... I can’t bear the thought of life without you.” 

 

“Cas.” Dean’s arms come up to hold him just as tightly and Castiel buries his face in the hollow of Dean’s throat, fresh tears streaming down his cheeks. “Shhh,” the hunter soothes, rubbing his back. “Shhh, angel, it’s okay. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” 

 

Castiel can only sob in reply, his heart throbbing in his chest. He’s still clutching at Dean almost desperately, and he tangles their legs together, needing the contact with him wherever he can get it. Slowly, he manages to find his breath again and he lets go of Dean briefly enough to dry his eyes. 

 

“I... I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to - to wake you,” he stammers. As much as it pains him, he forces himself to move back, away from Dean. He instantly feels colder and he shivers, the blankets unable to restore that warmth. “I - I can leave, if that makes it easier.” 

 

_ Please don’t make me leave _ , he thinks, even though he can’t be so selfish as to voice that thought aloud. 

 

“No, Cas. Stay,” Dean says, grabbing him like he expects the angel to poof out of existence right then and there. “I want you here.” 

 

The words are like music and Castiel feels a weight lifted from his chest. He nods and this time, Dean is the one to pull him closer, tangling their legs together once more. They’re close enough to share breath and it’s like this that Castiel finds peace, easily falling asleep again in Dean’s arms. 

  
  



End file.
